If you’re looking for a place to start, AltScene users have revealed that their favourite way of meeting new people is through coffee dates. So if the thought of spending an evening at someone’s house makes you feel uncomfortable, or if you like the idea of meeting in public first, this could be ideal for you.
“My perfect date would be a coffee with a cute guy,” says one user. “I’m not very adventurous when it comes to my dating life, so I tend to stick to old faithfuls like dinner and drinks as opposed to doing something out of the ordinary.”
Another added: “Coffee dates are great because they give you time to talk without being too awkward. You don’t have to worry about drinking too much alcohol (like on a night out) and you can easily leave whenever you want.”
What Is AltScene?
AltScene is a social networking website for singles who are into alternative subcultures like metal, punk, and emo. The site is aimed at those who aren’t necessarily interested in the usual dating scene, but who want to meet and chat to other like-minded people. You can learn more about what makes it different from other dating sites in this review.
What To Talk About On A Coffee Date
The most important thing to remember is that your conversation should never revolve around yourself. Instead, make sure you ask them questions so you can get to know each other better. One user said: “Don’t just talk about yourself; find out more about them and what they’re interested in.”
Another AltScene user suggested asking them about their career, hobbies and interests, but also warned against asking things like how many children they want to have or where they see themselves in five years’ time. The latter question will only serve to put them under pressure, while the former will probably result in their opening up about their personal life – which they may not be comfortable doing before they’ve met you face-to-face.
How To End Your Coffee Date
You should always end your date by suggesting that you go somewhere else together. This gives you an opportunity to keep the date going, such as walking around the local area and getting to know each other further, or perhaps heading back to yours for a cup of tea and some cake.
Although it’s important to stay polite and friendly throughout your coffee date, there are certain things you shouldn’t say. For example, you should avoid discussing sex or money during the first meeting. This will immediately make you come across as flirty and greedy.
However, there are a few areas you should definitely steer clear of talking about. These include politics, religion and your exes. If you do want to bring these subjects up, wait until after you’ve exchanged numbers.
“I’m not really keen on political discussions,” said one user. “It’s usually best to save them for the second date, when you’ll know more about your date.”
Why Coffee Is A Great First Date Idea
There are plenty of reasons why coffee is a good first date option. It’s cheap, it’s casual and you can easily walk away from it if you don’t fancy spending any longer with your date.
Another reason why coffee dates work well is that they’re easy to arrange. Everyone has a coffee shop nearby, meaning you won’t need to travel far to meet them. Plus, you can take a friend along to help you decide whether or not you’d like to go on a second date with them.
How To Flirt With Someone Over Coffee
Although you should try to keep your conversation light and fun, you still need to flirt with your date. After all, you’re hoping to take your relationship further and enjoy a long-term romance with them.
One user explained: “Flirting over coffee is simple; compliment them, show interest in what they have to say and ask open-ended questions.”
Another added: “Always smile when talking to someone. Even if you don’t feel particularly happy, fake it until you become it.”